Successfully Planning a Wedding During COVID-19
“How do I plan a wedding during a worldwide pandemic?”
Dear Brides (and Grooms),
First of all CONGRATULATIONS. Second of all, man, I feel for you. Planning a wedding is already hard enough, and to add the extra stress of your guests’ health, potential government regulations, venue restrictions, opinions of those around you, and EVERYTHING ELSE that is happening in the world right now, it is so overwhelming! As I’ve been emailing my 2021-22 brides, I thought it would be helpful for anyone planning their wedding moving forward to have as many sources of information as possible, and I can be one of those resources!
Throughout 2020 I attended or photographed around 15-20 weddings and 10 engagement shoots. Each couple has their own opinion on health and safety, so I feel like I was able to witness a lot of different directions you could take this thing.
All my love,
example one:
intimate ceremony, guest Reception in the future
Pros: Safe! You can have the same wedding calendar date as originally planned. You are married! “Easiest” to plan because you take it one event at a time. The real reason of your wedding day deeply shines through. Freedom with timeline, can go and do whatever the heck you want! Facebook live exists and guests can join in.
Cons: A lot of people that matter to you may not be able to come due to government or venue restrictions. We’re not really sure when things will be back to “normal” and when you will be able to have the reception you initially thought. In March 2020 we thought by winter things will be back! We’re now in winter and we are thinking… spring?
example two:
intimate Ceremony + Reception
Pros: Same wedding calendar date as originally planned. Potentially have more venue options because of the smaller guest list, can take it in a more styled direction. Opportunity to consider your guests individually. More intimacy = more emotions that shine through.
Cons: Again, some of the people who are important to you are not going to be able to be there. Most likely no wedding dance, or an abbreviated version of one.
example three:
full ceremony + reception
Pros: IT CAN BE DONE! It is a sense of normalcy in a world that is not normal. Most likely will take place all outside, which means great photos! May be the only opportunity to have all of your loved ones gathered for awhile. At this point in the pandemic, people know what they’re comfortable with and how to be safe and protect themselves.
Cons: A lot or precautions to consider. Some guests still will not attend or will feel very uncomfortable doing so. Lately to have a pre-COVID sized wedding it has had to be outside of MN: Iowa, Wisconsin or North Dakota don’t have the same gathering size restrictions and may be more flexible.
example four:
When your plans change
and you end up having absolutely no control over any details, get married in front of a Christmas tree in a random suburb, that is beautiful and memorable, too.
Extra tips to consider while planning:
Guest Comfortability:
Several weddings had colored name tags or stickers for each guest to fill out/choose whether they wanted to be Red, Green, or Yellow. Green meant they felt totally fine to talk to people/be approached, Red meant don't approach/uncomfortable, and Yellow was somewhere in the middle. That instantly solves a lot of issues regarding allll of the different feelings people have! Next to the stickers on the table, there was an explanation of what the colors meant, etc. So I thought that was nice because each guest felt like their opinion was considered. (If I had a million dollars, I would do this in a flower instead of a sticker for each guest, but stimulus checks are only so high.)
Have as many things outside as you can. I think that instantly puts people more at ease! Some people had personalized wedding day masks for each guest when they arrived, although I'm not a huge fan of spending more money on masks than I have to. People will have one with, but maybe some disposable ones on hand for those who forget.
Food + Drinks:
Your venue + catering company will probably take care of this, but if planning a backyard reception, have individual servings pre-made for cocktail hour, or the servers handling all the food distribution. At weddings I've been to, the buffets were served to the guests by a worker, rather than each person handling their own plate, and dismissed table by table, allowing one table to sit before the next got up, which limits contact. Or a plated dinner as normal where the server is the one handling the food.
Seating at Ceremony + Reception:
At the ceremony, have your seats in clumps rather than one long row. This way you can seat guests closer to the ceremony, and it will look more full. Set up chairs in groups of 2-3, then leave a space, then continued the row just leaving breaks every few chairs. You could even take it as far as labeling a seating chart for the ceremony, keeping families together, but I don't know many people who have time for that. At the reception, keep families together and have tables fairly spread apart.
Formal Bridal Party + Family Portraits:
Because we do most, if not all, of these photos outside, people are totally fine standing next to each other and being with their families or their circle of people they have already been hanging out with. Those who weren't comfortable, but were still needed in the photo, would wear a mask until I had fully set up the shot and was ready to take the picture. Then it would just be a few seconds without the mask, and then they could put it right back on after we were done.
A final note on perspective:
I am hopeful by spring, tensions will have eased around COVID-19 with the vaccine becoming more available, but what I've learned is that the true meaning of the wedding still comes through, because that's something that no venue/government law/sickness can take away. You're still celebrating this huge day with the person you are marrying, and sharing it with those who are the very closest to you. I've seen brides in 2020 have SO much going on leading up to the day of their wedding that they forget to walk down the aisle with their flowers! Or forget all of their jewelry at home! And guess what? Their groom and guests (and me!) are still bawling over how beautiful she is. It’s been a cool perspective change for me on not getting caught up in the details, but really feeling the emotions and meaning of the wedding day. 2020 was a blessing in that way; stripping down everything to what truly and deeply matters.
Follow along on instagram @BridgetCouwenhoven
